A little slice of heaven.

Everyone has their version of how heaven is. Mostly cause we are all different. So believe that the best things in life are different. I think that part of the fun of dying is getting to see what's up after this big whole thing goes bad. Well I'll let you in on what Heaven is to me. It's music loaded. Their is dancing, sometimes with a lot of people and sometimes with only one other. This is how most of forever will pass. People always talk about how they will never need to eat or sleep, but in my heaven you will. Why, well cause food is good, and sleeping is enjoyable. That place where you drift inbetween dreams and reality like tourists at state lines. I will also spend a lot of time in music videos. Not in musicals but music videos. Not that people breaking into song isn't fun, but I just can't really handle the girlie French musicals. Which is what comes to mind when someone says musical. Well I lost track of what I was talking about cause I stopped to talk to people in my room.

It's always weird to give up doing real things to do virtual things. Like the people (who I once was, heck some times still am) who give up going to a dance to mess with a computer. I can understand it sometimes, I can even understand the few who don't like dances. But, a lot of people have never even gone to a dance. I remember my first couple. They sucked. I didn't know how to dance. Not that I do now. I knew no one really. Heck the first one here was hard. Swallowing ones pride to try and make friends of strangers is hard. Now, I know allot of people and can converse with allot of many of them at once. I enter a new mode when I go to dances. I have always just let louse. I never hold to reservations that I might have internally. I just get into the music. To the people that don't like dancing I ask that you give it another try.

Most things suck when you first try them. Especial when every one around you seems to be so good. Why, cause we feel like fools and don't think anyone else does. So they all must be looking at how goofy we look. Well all I have to say is that your not that important. Not to be mean but your not. At dances if people are dancing they're dancing not looking around. In most things this also implies. If your at a party and fell uncomfortable and think that everyone is saying who's he/she and why are they here. It just you. Your not that important to them. If they don't know you why would the care that you're just sitting there. They came to a party to talk have fun. If you're just sitting there they'll just move on, not mock you.

For all my words and phrases I my self am nothing but a coward. I recently discover that I have offend a girl. I thought this girl was interesting before yet, now that she has shunned me I am obsessed. She fills me thoughts constantly. Not so much in a stocker, love driven thing. More of this girl doesn't like me for my stupidity I have to change that.

A friend ask me today why I was attracted to Asian girls. I did not have correct response for her. I said it was cause they are rare things to me. I find them alien and fascinating. It is the same for anything new to me. If I know little about it I am attraction to it. The attraction grows the more I know about it while still not understanding it. I am sure I could come up with some mathematical equation for that. I change and grow with each new thing that crosses my path. When It is completely new I can gain more from it. I don't believe that I am more attracted to one race over another. But I must refer back to my biography byline. I know nothing about my self. These are just my current feelings. They are as rooted like seeds on a dandelion. With one strong wind and they could easily be gone. Waiting for the next idea to grow.