A movie script life

I have for the better part of my life I have lived it like a movie. Most of my jokes are for the viewing audience not so much for first or second parties. I walk and react the way I think the hero in my own movie should. I have recently discovered a major issue with this. A movie is only two hours most of the time. The characters in it really only have time for one major conflict, and yet there are movies that this one issue spans most of their life. I was recently thinking while watching one such movie. Why did it take you so long to lean this one thing? Like 5 people had to die for him to get this one answer. Also most have this one driving force that pushes them further then all the rest, a goal, a girl, a dream, a moral, duty, ethics, honor, or a million other things. I don't have one thing like that which drives me. I have tried to get one to be stronger then the rest but that only made the others weaker. I have many people and beliefs that are close to me and only the combination of these things makes me who I am, I strife for a better tomorrow for these people and values. I will still live my life like a movie for now, but much different then the trivial movie.