Another Image of myself
Tomorrow is unclear and today is that lost case. I have gotten trunky for the unknown. I want more adventure and new people and places. To remake myself though the eyes of strangers as I force them to see what I want them to and thus forcing myself into more of the person I wish to be. I have broken one of the rules I set for myself before I got here and now I am feeling the side effects. I said I was not going to pee into the pool I swim in. I dated a girl in the group and now it has caused chaos and distress throughout. I turn my back now on love and the fairer gender. I flirt and hangout but my heart has been placed back upon that shelf in the back of my mind. I don't like myself while in the thrualls of love, or maybe it's lust. It is not good for either party. I want to give her all my time and effort and she wants to take it, but this is not right and each has to fight to keep their senses.
People argue that love's the greatest of emotions, which might be true but I think I have felt stronger. Duty, desire, effort, confusion, and battle lust. I have felt all of these things much stronger. Now maybe people will say I have yet to find the right person, which maybe true but even then I care not if I do at the moment. I can do much more now thinking of others without having cares for one by herself. I treat myself and all my things like crap and could not have nice things which are what I would want to give her. I need to grow more and gain life experience before those things can come into play. I need to work on getting myself back to who I was. I will never like I did for a girl. I will never give so much of myself for so little again. I did not mind the trade, but others did and I think so did the lord. I told him awhile that this life is his and I must make atonement for taking free rain of it again. The world will be a better place because I was once in it. I only need to give everything I have in seeing this come to pass. I have never bought a drunk a drink and never will. I never want to add to the woos of this world just take from them.
People argue that love's the greatest of emotions, which might be true but I think I have felt stronger. Duty, desire, effort, confusion, and battle lust. I have felt all of these things much stronger. Now maybe people will say I have yet to find the right person, which maybe true but even then I care not if I do at the moment. I can do much more now thinking of others without having cares for one by herself. I treat myself and all my things like crap and could not have nice things which are what I would want to give her. I need to grow more and gain life experience before those things can come into play. I need to work on getting myself back to who I was. I will never like I did for a girl. I will never give so much of myself for so little again. I did not mind the trade, but others did and I think so did the lord. I told him awhile that this life is his and I must make atonement for taking free rain of it again. The world will be a better place because I was once in it. I only need to give everything I have in seeing this come to pass. I have never bought a drunk a drink and never will. I never want to add to the woos of this world just take from them.
posted by Judge of the Whetten's at 7:18 PM
3 Comments:
My world has been a better place since I met you.
I think you kindly, but I must also add a sub note. The girl I speak of in this post has little to do with this post. I highly enjoied the time we spent together, and I wish her nothing but the best. We have gone spreat ways, but she will always be speaical to me. I do not think baddly of the girl or the time we spent together.
You should.
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