Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Another day another chance to get it right

The snow fell softly on my sleeping bed last night. Drifting down slowly, dancing in the moonlight and piling up in anticipation of the breaking day. This morning like each morning was soft, sweet, and cold. My mind lied to it's self and I let it tell me I was somewhere else. Music my morning coffee, the frozen air my morning meal. Like a winter rose I'm a victim of the fall, but I'm soon returning.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

rough draft

The city seemed to be stuck in a state of perpeual darkness. No one moved, no one made a sound. The stars could not be see this night for the smoke and ash blocked out what little light they offered.

Laten awoke to the noise of a building crumbling in the distance. He reached for grace who was not there. He muscles ach as he slowly pushed himself up. Nothing seemed broken and nothing twisted. Takening a quick look around showed nothing of interest, just a typical tight ally snug between two increable large buildings. it showed nothing of what had really happend in the city, it seemed almost untiuched by time. A smierk came to lathansels face as he thought that this ally might be the only thing he was able to save in the city. It looked like it was snowing as he walked out into the street. The ash fell slowly from the sky dancing in the few street lights that still worked. The city was so peaceful now it was like a child now settled into a peacefuly slumper, but the city would not awake from this sleep. The streets where filled with the peoples cars still trying to flee the city. The sides of the road held the people in their last despreate attpemp to out run the death that most ceriaty had caught them. Walking down the street he tried to not look at or think about all these people he failed. He had failed taskes he had been given before, but had never been around to see the after math. This task however he did not fail, just the people in this city. Countless lives had been saved by his actions, yet it looked like to many had paid the price for his falts. Anger built in him as he turned a corner to yet another street filled with yet many more people. So much anger and sorrow that his mind had trouble keeping track of who the sorce was. Anger at himself for failing, anger at those he worked for for only seanding him. The sounds of buildings here and there falling apart felt with his own feelings. In time he came to where he had last seen grace. There was not much there, only a giant creater where city hall had been. It was shocking to think that nothing had surived that, nothing nother then himself. He guessed he had been tossed at least 15 blocks and had lived some how. He found her stuck hilt deep into a wall in the edge of the creater. A look of remorse show on the face etred into the blade. "I know dear, but maybe next time we can do better." He pulled her free and placed her back at his side. took one last look around at the city and was gone, never to behold it's eternal slumber agian.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Doomed to walk Awake

I have found that I can not sleep. As of now it is 4am and I still find that sleep flees from me. It has been like this for many weeks now. I find the internet both a blessing and a curse, for while it gives something for my mind to do in these wee hours, it also hides filth around every corner. This evening I spent a few hours writing which was restfully and brought joy to my soul. I then spent sometime checking up on firends and family, but after this is where the trouble started. I started "surfing the net." I would look up one topic or another and find that people are trully disturbed. I understand the many risks that come with looking into my many interests in anime and games. I never find any obsecen websites about liture or classic art, why must gamers be such perverts? It is getting to the point where I fear google. I run the risk now of being to honest with unknow readers, but the risk I must take. I am an averge man, made not of stone and flawed more then I can bear to mention. So while I shun from the carner things of the world I do it not because I know I am better, but because I know their dangers. I would be a drunk if I drank, I would be a gambler if I rolled the dice. I would be a drity old man if I had no conviction or self respect. So when things getted tossed in my face I am ashamed to say that I am sometimes slow to push them aside. I get angery and the people and places that do this, but I get angery at myself for falling into such a trap that I knew was there, and not getting out of it when I could. To be Zen, to trap and train my monkey mind. Yet that monkey is fast, fat and lazy. Maybe I need a monkey whip?