Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Neo Motivation

I want something to fight for. I need a reason to push onward. I seek that righteous cause that drives one into action. That ideal or cause that digs at the mind and sets fire to the soul. I only hear of atrocious, I know nothing of them. Thus it is hard for simple news to force my feet into action. The news and media is filled with misinformation or just the highlights of an event. It never gives any information on how we can help out. They just sit by as passive observers and watch. Thinking if they are not helping cause problems then they are not part of the problem. What happened to the belief that if we are not part of the solution then we are part of the problem. By standing by and doing nothing we are condoning the actions of those we do not speak out against. My heart aches and I am sick of talking about it, talking never does me any good. I need action,and I need motivation for this action. I seek physical trials now opposed to those of other natures. I have traveled far down this road and don't wish to give up on it now, yet now people are telling me to give in. Can my desire to make a difference be enough to lead me to that motivation I seek to make it happen. I have never been a fan of quitting, I hate it. So I get stuck in the worst place for me, indecision. Once I have a goal I can do everything in my power to reach it, and then if I fall short I am happy with that, and yet if I am held back and don't try with every little part of me. I feel I am a failure no matter what happens. I need to come to a conclusion and seek it's resolution. True pain to me has and always will be the fact or feeling that I can't do anything.

Thursday, April 14, 2005


Well more on this later I'm going to work on my car that is where my true joy lies.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

What's in a kiss?

Let me first start off by saying I want to keep this topic as clean and mature as possible. Living for 21 years I have dodged a few. A little while ago I was tired of dodging and lost the will to fight it. Going so long without it I had built up this grand idea of what it was. You hear people craving it like a drug, just waiting till they can get their next fix. I thought of it as something magical, something that felt like nothing else. It was purely placing my lips on another’s and moving them around. I had emotion in the kiss, I had feelings for the girl, this was special this is what made everything glow this is what set the world on fire, to have her be so close and hold her in my arms. That was the magical part. That was what is in a poet’s heart. The kiss was just a gate way to those feelings. To be needed and wanted, to feel excepted, to have another person care for your percents in this life is the beauty of this thing. I can only think that people miss this. They think that all these things lay in the kiss, but that is simply not true. If one places their lips on your hand do you get the same reaction, no. Is that not also your flesh? Do you not have nerves and feelings in your hand? You do, but their lips on your hand has little meaning compared to their lips on yours. A kiss, is but a kiss. A hug, is but a hug. The emotions that are transferred are substantially more. It is souls compacting, conversing, and letting each other know they are not alone.

The Poison Pearl

She calls me special, like everyone else
She calls me friend, thinking of her self
She tells me her truths, which turn to lies
She tells me sweet words, but gives bitter replies
She wants my mind, body and soul, and in exchange
She offers a hole

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Rock This Jerk

Rock raises my soul, makes me want to dance and get the world to join in. It gives me energy like a coke addict, it’s my legalized drug and I'm due for a fix. It's funny how I can rock out by myself and have a great time, yet if I can get you to rock out with me it's improves the situation ten fold. When I hear a song that forces my foot to tap, I need to have you listen to it. To Place you into my little experiment, to see if this song affects you like it did me. The best songs I find sing about rocking out. It is a topic that, no matter how your feeling you could be (or should be feeling) the joyful vibrations of rock, making your head bob and hand tip the stirring wheel over and over, singing along to loud and much to off key. The best of songs can make a person dance in private and when discover can't stop dancing, and the best of people can have this effect on others.