Thursday, November 24, 2005

nothing of interst

It's ture what they say, that you can never go home.

Monday, November 07, 2005

16 Tons

Jim cleared his throut and reached into this pocket as he started down the ally. The night was cold and wet. You never saw it rain in this city, but everything was always wet. The only illumination was coming from the detestable neon lights that filled down town streets. Jim paused at a cross ally way and lend against the wall as he lit his cigarette. He blow the smoke straight up and out as he looked at where the stars should be. The filth and pollution of the city made a cloud that blocked out the stars and darkened the sun. Sure the day was brighter but not by much. Jim had read a few old books on stars; about how people use to worship them and such. "Well looks like we have blocked out your gods dear fellows, and ours also." Jim pushed himself off the wall and continued down towards the street. He squinted upon reaching it for the neon harlots where blinding. Jim continued his Sojourn passing broken men and drunken women. This city was a mess of dead and dying. Living her long enough made one apathitic. Jim did care to much about the human conditoin, at least not here, cause here he had a job.

Standing outside in his dirty old duster letting the water drip on him from the neon sign Jim looked at the doors and watched the people entering. Jim dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his toe. "Here we go, lets see what I got for them tonight." Jim went in thought the front, he was told all the time not to but he didn't care. This was his place and these people came to see him. Working his way into the back he stopped at the betting table to see the odds. Not good, not good at all. Jim had become a fighter by chance and never really liked the idea. Some women sell their body's for money when times get hard, well Jim was doing just that but in a different way. This would be Jim's third real fight. First didn't go so well, second was none the better. What ever luck Jim thought he had tonight left when he saw the other guy.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Ramblings of a ziff man.

While spending some time with a few different people I came to a few conclusions. One of which is that I tire of women, well most of them anyways. I had thought in the past that the little list that they force us to make in siminary for what we look for in eternal company made some differeance. I have found this to be almost pointless. For I am nothing like the childed I was back then. I have meet the girl that meet that list. While I am sure life would have been nice, it wouldn't have been right. The only thing that matters to me now was never even on the list. I need someone that has the desire to make the world a better place like I do. The list was filled with the little things that add spice to life, but had no life to it. I could not make a list today either for I am no where near ready for such things. I have at lest three years before I will seek such things. I still have little to no idea about the differacne of love between two people and that of lust. I have fallen in love with the idea of love, I have fallen into lust, I have fallen into like, but I have never fallen into love. So many things are different today. Yesterday things where set in stone and I knew things as fact. Well fact has become fiction and today has become yesterday. My stone has washed away with the rain. The rain has washed my stone away and cleared the sand away from anothers. This stone looks to be sound and I trust the crafter of it better then myself.

Give ear to the soul.

I was a fool to think I could kill him in one day. I had let him grow for 6 years. To kill him in one day was simply foolish. To let things go where they did was something worst then that. I have tired to kill him many a time before. Each time never commeting to the blow. This time I can feel him going however and I have hope. I can feel the strenght in my arms as he lose the strenght in his.
Never give up.
I change for my friends.
I will be who I need to be.